Tonguebomb
by yourSECRETKEEPER
Summary: James Potter and Lily Evans have been made Head Girl and Head Boy. After one particular conversation James gets an outrageous idea to try and win over Lily Evans for the final time. One-shot!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter obviously…**

James Potter looked at Lily Evans. This was their last year at Hogwarts and therefore his last chance with her. They had been made Head Boy and Head Girl which had guaranteed that the pair of them would work together. Lily had decided that she would be civil around James for the sake of their work and James thought this was at least some progress. He still could remember when he first decided that he wanted to be with Lily Evans. It was the first time she had full out yelled at him.

"Hey Lily!" James asked.

"Yeah James?" she replied.

"Do you remember the first time you ever yelled at me?" James wanted to know.

"I don't know James I yelled at you a lot," Lily replied simply.

"It was way back in first year…second week of school…charms hallway. Any of this ring a bell?" James asked curiously. Lily looked thoughtful.

"No I really don't remember it," she sighed looking back at her work.

"Oh come on of course you do I only teased you about it for the next few weeks to come!" James exclaimed.

"James I don't know what you are talking about," Lily told him stubbornly.

"Lily I know you do! It was such a landmark in our relationship. Remember you threatened to ton-"

"Oh I remember now…you can drop it," Lily cut James off her cheeks immediately reddening.

"Aha so now you remember," James said laughing confidently.

"Yes well I was young and naïve I didn't know what I was talking about," Lily defended herself. James just laughed again.

"Sure. Lily you know it was that conversation that made me so set on you," James told.

"You have got to be kidding me?!" Lily exclaimed still highly embarrassed.

"I thought you were serious at first," James admitted grinning abashedly.

"Of course you did," she sighed.

"It wasn't until after you asked me if I had a death wish that I knew you really didn't understand what you were saying," James added.

"Ok let's stop reliving this conversation please," Lily suggested hopefully.

"Ok sure…I'll just relive it by myself," James said shrugging his shoulders.

_Flashback…_

As a little first year James Potter was intelligent, athletic, gifted, and well liked. These four things combined gave him a rather big head. James didn't like to admit it but he was a rather big jerk back in the day. Unfortunately this big head often resulted in him and his three best friends becoming bullies. He could remember his first years so clearly…especially his days spent with Lily Evans.

One of James's little group's main victims was Severus Snape. He was a Slytherin, loner, shy, and he didn't exactly have the best hygiene. These four things combined produced a rather large figurative sign over his head that seemed to say "MAKE FUN OF ME!" James and his friends took advantage of this figurative sign on multiple occasions.

James and three friends: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were walking through the charms corridor after class one day. Severus Snape just so happened to be walking through the very same hall. Suddenly Sirius was struck with an idea of pure genius…according to him. He had a dungbomb that he was just dying to use in his pocket. He convinced James to set it off and then slip it into Snape's pocket as the group walked past him. James perfected his task and the result was an awful stench accompanying Severus Snape for the rest of the day.

It wasn't until he was in the library studying with his best friend Lily Evans that Severus Snape discovered the origin of the smell. He immediately remembered his only contact with James Potter and his friends that day; the walk through the charms corridor. Snape mentioned this to Lily and she seemed to steam at the ears with anger. Anything that the four Gryffindor boys did seemed to irritate her and this personal attack on her friend was the last straw.

"What did you say that awful thing was again?" Lily asked her friend.

"A dungbomb," Severus muttered, clearly embarrassed.

"Dungbomb right…" Lily muttered trying to commit the unfamiliar name to memory.

Lily still seething mad rushed back to the Gryffindor common room. Unfortunately she found it vacant. She decided she would sit and wait for the rule breaking boys to come in and then she would let them have it. After fifteen minutes of sitting in her anger and frustration Lily looked up to see none other than James Potter walk through the portrait hole.

"POTTER!" she exclaimed her voice rising octaves above its usually pleasant tone.

"Yes Lily?" James asked innocently walking over to her.

"Why can't you just leave people alone?" she asked him patiently. Lily resolved to herself to start this confrontation off civilly. If he upset her…well then that was his fault and then he deserved to be yelled at.

"What? You were the one who called me over?" James asked confused.

"No that's not what I meant! You put that foul object in Severus's cloak!" Lily accused him pointing a finger at him.

"Oh well you see technically that wasn't really my fault. Sirius told me to do it," James informed her proudly.

"I don't care who tells you to do it you just don't do things like that to other people!" Lily reprimanded him.

"Who are you my mother?" James asked smirking. He was amused by the way her face turned deeper shades of red as the conversation continued. He found that when Lily Evans was irritated she was strangely attractive to him.

"No Potter," Lily said angrily, "But if I do find out that you are harassing my friends again I will tonguebomb you!" James's jaw dropped. That made absolutely no sense. Did she like when he made fun of people?!

"Excuse me?" he asked his voice slightly squeaky.

"You heard me Potter! If you and your friends don't back off I'm going to tonguebomb you," Lily told him sternly.

"You can tonguebomb me anytime you want," James told her in what he thought was a very appealing voice.

"Do you have a death wish Potter?" Lily exclaimed. And then suddenly it occurred to James that she meant to say dungbomb…not tonguebomb. His first instinct was to be embarrassed. He then remembered that she was the one who had made a mistake not him, and he had absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Lily I think you meant to say dungbomb," James suggested.

"That's what I said!" Lily said frustrated.

"No you said tonguebomb," James laughed.

"Potter you are so impossible!" Lily exclaimed. But her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment which only proved James to be correct.

"That's ok. Any girl who threatens to tonguebomb me is pretty awesome," James said grinning. Lily looked like she wanted to punch him.

"Go away Potter!" she muttered.

"Never. Lily Evans you have officially captured my heart," James told her confidently.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" she shrieked…and so it began.

_End of Flashback._

James grinned fondly at the memory of their very first argument with each other. He was so taken with the fiery red head that had threatened to tonguebomb him that he pursued her through the majority of his stay at Hogwarts. It wasn't until quite recently that Lily even started tolerating him…but that had never managed to discourage James and he vowed never to let it.

"What are you smiling at?" Lily asked breaking him from his reverie.

"I was just reliving the moment you threatened to tonguebomb me," James grinned still.

"I thought we were done with that conversation!" Lily exclaimed her cheeks immediately flushing.

"I wasn't," James admitted wistfully. Lily rolled her eyes at him but he could see she was still embarrassed. "Don't tell me that still embarrasses you!"

"James I threatened to tonguebomb you of course it still embarrasses me!" Lily told him exasperatedly.

"Oh Lily come on it's just me. You know, that only made me like you more," James told her in a rare moment of sincerity.

"I thought that made you think I was a stupid muggleborn," Lily muttered more to herself than to him.

"Of course not!" James laughed.

"Then why did you always go out of your way to irritate me?" Lily wanted to know. This time it was James's turn to blush.

"Well…I thought you were more attractive when your cheeks got all flushed with aggravation," James admitted shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Lily laughed. James joined in eventually.

"I was pretty immature," he confessed.

"I was pretty bossy," Lily added.

"With good reason," James told her.

"Naturally," Lily replied.

"So you hate me less now?" James asked playfully.

"Oh James I never hated you," she said sincerely. "I just hated the things you did. You wasted your brilliance on childish pranks and harmful jokes."

"Yeah I was pretty much the definition of a bullying toe rag," James joked referring back to the name Lily often used when she was yelling at him. He joked to hide the sudden burst of hopefulness he just experienced. Lily had never hated him…just hated the things he did. It wasn't exactly the confession of undying love he longed to hear but still it was something.

"I can't lie…you were," Lily agreed. James shrugged his shoulders in a gesture

he hoped would say _Well it doesn't matter I'm different now. _"But you're different now." James beamed at her.

"That's good to hear," he told her happily.

"Alright well don't let that inflate you ego too much," she warned.

"Me inflate my ego? Never," James joked grinning.

James left the common room in an exceptionally good mood. He had just had a very successful conversation with Lily. He was quite proud of himself. He was definitely making some progress.

James woke up the next morning in an exceptionally good mood. He didn't know what it was but he was feeling pretty optimistic about today. It was a Thursday after all, he had always liked Thursdays.

"Padfoot!" James called out to the room.

"Mmm?" came the sleepy reply of his best friend.

"Today is going to be bloody brilliant!" James announced beaming at his half asleep roommate.

"If you say so Prongs," Sirius replied before rolling over and going back to sleep. James's good feeling continued throughout the day. Lily said "Hello" to him at breakfast. James's missing Potions assignment miraculously reappeared. Not to mention Charms got cancelled due to some idiocy Peeves created in the classroom. Everything was wonderful. It was then, during the Charms hour that James was walking through the Charms hallway that he got an idea.

He had been thinking about the actual conversation he had with Lily before. Remembering the tonguebomb incident that he devised a plan to make Lily realize that he was sorry, finally mature, and worthy enough of another chance.

"Moony! Wormtail! Padfoot!" James bellowed sprinting into their shared dorm room.

"Where's the fire?" asked Remus.

"Funny, now shut up. This is an emergency. I need a dungbomb." James informed his friends, panting slightly from the run through the castle.

"I think we used the last of them last month," Peter told him.

"NO! You have got to be kidding me," James exclaimed his face falling.

"Relax Prongs my friend. I have some spare in my trunk if it's that much of an emergency…" Sirius began. James jumped for joy and then flung his arms around his friend.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you," he chanted. James rummaged through Sirius's trunk and emerged holding a dungbomb in his hand as if it were a treasured pet.

"What do you need it for anyway?" asked Peter curiously. James pocketed the item.

"If it works…you'll find out soon enough," James told his three friends grinning. He bounded out of the room skipping and humming.

"What the hell has gotten into him?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"Who knows?" Remus sighed.

James was walking around the castle with a huge grin on his face. All day people had been avoiding him. If they had to get close to him they did so holding their breath and scrunching up their faces. James smelled terrible. He smelled so terrible that even Peter, Remus, and Sirius were avoiding him.

"James, remind me why you smell so bad again?" Sirius asked from across the common room. He didn't want to get too close and risk inhaling the foul odor.

"Because there is a dungbomb in my pocket," James replied smiling.

"But why?" Sirius repeated his question.

"You'll see," James said although he did look a little less confident than he had that morning. He had spent the entire day walking around with a dungbomb in his pocket yet he had not seen Lily once. He was doing all this for her! He was hoping that maybe his walking around smelling terrible would prove to her that he had matured enough and was truly sorry for the way he had acted in the past. In his mind it was a great plan. They only part missing was Lily.

"Moony have you seen Lily today?" James asked Remus from across the room.

"No…have you seen a shower today?" Remus replied.

"Of course," James answered looking even more dejected.

"Maybe you should check the library she never leaves that place," Peter suggested.

"Don't you go in there and smell up all those books!" Remus exclaimed.

"Thanks that's a good idea Peter," James said ignoring Remus and jumping up to go look for Lily in the library. Just as he had opened the portrait hole Lily stumbled through it.

"ARGH!" bellowed James in surprise.

"OH!" screamed Lily in shock. She was instantly hit by the powerful stench that was the dungbomb in James's pocket.

"They are honestly the strangest people I have ever met," Remus muttered to Sirius. Peter nodded his head in agreement.

"I was just looking for you," they both said at the same time. Remus and Sirius exchanged a knowing glance. Peter shook his head. James ran a hand through his hair nervously and Lily blushed.

"You smell awful," Lily commented.

"So I've heard," James agreed.

"I feel like we shouldn't be here," Sirius whispered. It was true. The atmosphere created by Lily and James in the common room did not contain a place for the three marauders. They surreptitiously crept back up into the boy's dormitory.

"I can't believe you walked around all day smelling like that," Lily said shaking her head.

"It's not because I lack personal hygiene I swear!" James exclaimed. "It's because of this stupid dungbomb." James reached into his pocket and pulled out the dungbomb.

"You walked around the school with a dungbomb?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," James admitted bashfully. "When you say it like that…" He shook his head at his own stupidity. "You know, you are the closest anyone has been to me all day." He laughed momentarily amused.

"I don't know what to say," Lily admitted.

"You can say James you have been a complete ass," James suggested.

"James you have been a complete ass," Lily echoed.

"And I never thought it was possible for me to forgive you," James continued.

"And I never thought it was possible for me to forgive you," Lily repeated.

"But I tried…" James added.

"But I did," Lily asserted. "Not just today but the beginning of this whole year. James you really changed. You matured, you grew up, you changed…no you didn't change…you were always a great guy it just took me forever to finally realize it." To say that James was shocked would be a great understatement. His mouth even fell open a little bit.

"You did?" James wondered, still shocked. Lily nodded smiling.

"Yeah I did…but the real question is…can you forgive me? I was so terrible to you…so cruel…and I never really gave you a chance. So for once I'm asking you to forgive me." Lily confessed.

"This is stupid," James laughed. "Of course…there's nothing to even forgive!" he laughed again. Lily laughed nervously.

"Ok then I have a question," she continued bouncing on her heals slightly. It was a nervous habit she had picked up from James.

"Ok go ahead," James said.

"James will you go out with me?" Lily asked still bouncing on her heals. James nearly fainted from the shock of the words that came out of her mouth. He did fall over though. Luckily enough Lily caught him and righted him again.

"Are you kidding of course I will!!!" James exclaimed happily picking up Lily and swinging her around in a circle. Lily laughed with uncontained happiness.

"One more question," she wondered.

"Alright," James agreed.

"Would it be alright if I tongue bombed you now?"

(A/N random one shot that popped into my head. I got the idea from my friend who is a new Harry Potter fan and honestly thought it was called tonguebomb. Hope you liked it! Please read and review!!! Thanks!)


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